To be honest, I have an answer.

And it's becoming increasingly clear. 

I think we will never get past the money part. 

Especially when you're in debt to me. 

I don't mean to be disrespectful, 

But I don't think you'll ever be able to repay. 

As much as I want to get married, 

I am hesitant. 

Because of what you have showed me,

Time and time again. 

It's almost 4years. 

Your decisions and actions never once convinced me

That you will be able to suffer with me. 

If we ever suffer. 

I tried to assure you not to be worried or be tied down about money,

You say I am not being realistic. 

I talk to you about money, 

You become so stressed out. 

Really, what should I expect? 

Should a relationship be so hard, 

To the extent that I have to worry about 

Finances, current, future, unknown, 

And be constantly put into fear? 

I know for sure, I don't have to worry about myself. 

But, you will become our problem. 

And I don't think I can EVER solve that problem. 

I looked back, at the past few posts. 

Those feelings that I had, they never once resolved.

I know I will never feel happy for those things. 

Seems like,

my mind is already quite made up.